


slip between my fingers

by Steena



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 20:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steena/pseuds/Steena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tara goes through emotions when Frankie kidnap Chibs</p>
            </blockquote>





	slip between my fingers

**Author's Note:**

> Set at season 5

Chibs was missing. Not gone AWOL by his own free will, but at the hands of a traitor. Tara shuddered at the thought.

A quiet friendship had been building between them for some time. Starting with the recognizing nod as he dropped by to talk to Jax, it had moved to smiles, smalltalk about all and nothing.

Until an evening not too long ago. Jax was not at home when Chibs showed up. He almost turned on the doorstep but after hesitating for just a fraction of a second, he accepted her invitation to wait around for her husband.

At first it was a bit awkward, the two of them sitting alone at the dinnertable in the kitchen. It wasn't long before Tara realized Chibs was a smooth man to be around when off club duties and their conversation was relaxed even as they drifted into deeper topics. Time flew by, and they realized the evening had turned into night. He'd decided it was time for him to leave, original task unfulfilled, but the visit not pointless.

After that she considered him a friend. Not just by means of beeing one of the samcro brothers, but her personal friend. She appreciated his quiet strength, calm ways and loyalty, making her respect him in new ways, seeing him as the man he was; rugged, rough around the edges but intelligent, experienced with life and an unexpected philosopher.

And now he was missing. A small part of her felt dying. A trembling in her chest and stomach, making her nauseous. She was fighting the thought that he might actually be dead already, afraid that even considering it might make it a prophecy come true.

The feelings tumbling around inside her was the edge of a sword she hadn't been aware of, one she still couldn't quite grasp.

She did all things she had to do, and tried to occupy herself the rest of the time to keep the feeling of helplessness at bay.  
Her mind felt numb, her body doing what was needed but in a strange, automatic way.

The call came through to Jax: Chibs was alive. The lead jacket fell from her, and she breathed an honest "Thank god" afraid saying it loud would break the spell, waking her from a dream, an uglier reality dawning.

Tara was smelling LuAnns perfume. All tension built up the last days was getting the better of her. Something about the smell of it, reminding her of Ottos breakdown earlier made her long for release, to slip into an oblivious state of primitive existence.

A quiet knock on the door interrupted her. She went to the door and peaked out, tearing it open when she saw him standing there. She threw herself around his neck.

"Filip! Oh my god, I was so worried" She was gasping, feeling like her heart was about to burst out of her chest.

"Come on in"

He followed her into the kitchen and sat down, allowing her to look at his stapled wound. Tara felt a mix of fear and anger welling up inside her. Life was so fragile, what was here today might not be tomorrow. Things you didn't know you wanted and needed could be torn away before you realized what they ment, slipping away from grazing fingers instead of wrenching out of a furious hold.

Her hand feathered his hair, down the back of his neck and up to his chin. He tilted his head back and met her gaze.

"Don't you dare scare me like that again" She said, staring into his eyes. "I thought I might never see you again"

He smiled slowly. "Aye, but it takes more than an idiot to take me off of this planet."

She traced the scars on his cheeks with her thumbs, still holding his gaze. He had been through so much suffering, pain and he had been so close to death. Yet here he was, strong and defiant as ever. She wished he could share some of the strength with her, give her some calm in the storm she called life. Anchor her and give her shelter, if only for a moment.

The interrupted feelings from just minutes ago in her bedroom started to creep back into her mind and her body responded. A warmth in the pit of her stomach, a tingling in her skin at the back of her neck.

Tara leaned in, pressing her lips to his. He pulled her closer, needing her touch as much as she wanted his. She could feel his body tremble and realized his confidence moments ago had been an act, well rehearsed as much to put on for others as to selfsoothe in a life filled with loss, despair and pain.

She took this vulnerability and stored it in her heart, to keep safe from others and to cherish with the other things that made him a man she was slowly starting to worship.

She was straddling him, impatiently working on removing his hoodie, their violent kissing and eager hands a celebration to life and a desperation to do something their bodys would understand in a primal level, where no thoughts were needed, the bliss of ignorance of the world if only for moments.

"Tara" his whisper swirled between their lips, fuelling her fire.

Their clothes were beeing scattered on the floor, their minds lost to a primitive, animal act of selfpreservation as old as mankind.

There, in the kitchen, Tara felt passion and release, wanting and needing, desperation and pure joy tumbling over her, sending her to heights she had never seen before. And he matched her, following her up, leading the way, giving and taking as much as she did.

She was still straddling him, exhausted and leaning on him. He was resting his forehead on her collarbone, catching his breath. This should be awkward Tara thought. But it wasn't.

"Filip, don't you dare slip between my fingers"

"I won't"


End file.
